Why do people obey you in meetings, then quietly ignore you the moment you leave the room? I walked into a company celebrating a record quarter, with revenue up, costs down, and bonuses approved, yet in the same meeting, I watched a senior manager present numbers no one believed and challenged.
Eyes dropped, pens moved, and one high performer leaned back, arms folded, already gone, and that was the moment it became clear the business was winning on paper, but losing in spirit. It reminded me of a village house painted for visitors, with fresh walls and clean roads, yet behind the houses, nothing works, and the entire place exists to impress rather than function.
Authority built the façade, and legitimacy never arrived, which is why everything looks right until you step behind the curtain. In some homes, they say, all you need is to ask to go for a short call, and once you do, your appetite goes! Meaning the place is so awfully bad that it has no appetite after using it.
Authority is granted, but Legitimacy is earned. Titles give you the power to instruct, but they do not give you the right to be followed, and while people comply with authority because they must, they commit to legitimacy because they choose to. Most leaders think culture is about values statements and framed posters, yet culture is revealed in how you allocate time, money, and attention, and people study those signals closely and copy them without asking.
What you must confront now:
a) Stop rewarding silence disguised as harmony, and start demanding dissent in every major decision.
b) Audit where real decisions happen, because it is rarely in the boardroom where authority sits.
c) Track who speaks last in meetings, because that is where truth tends to hide when legitimacy is weak.
Once at a company, during my “current state assessment,” I had a chat with a young analyst who told me quietly that they execute the plan, but they do not believe it, and that single sentence should disturb any serious leader. If you want legitimacy, start here, and in your next meeting, ask one question and wait long enough to hear what people are afraid to say.
“What are we pretending not to see?” Back to you: what are you pretending not to see?
I remain, Mr. Strategy.
