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How to deal with sudden, the unexpected and abrupt shock or surprise.

“! I will leave this place and go to my father and say: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you; I no longer deserve to be called your son; treat me as one of your paid servants.” – Luke 15:18-19

According to Murphy’s Law, ‘anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.’ This is a supposed law of nature. The Law will always hold, whether you like it or not. We all know very well that our friends, loved ones or significant others, will – at one time – in line with Murphy’s law, experience a very big problem, setback or a bad surprise [I’m sorry if you’re scared, but we cannot hide from truth ‘every living thing has got challenges and it is never immortal!’]. Well, what we don’t know is the timing – we don’t know when our car will breakdown or when our career will hit a snag.

There is no problem without a solution. We can adequately contain the situation once it comes. The way we handle the aftermath is what matters. Below, are strategies for handling difficult times and big life surprises.

Never act on your impulses.

Try to stay calm. Remember that your judgment and decision are the key assets and will be killed by stress and emotions. We all feel good when we get to know that we are not alone in problems. Good counselors are so because they have a database of all kinds of problems and bad things that can befall people and a list of those experiencing them. When you are told, so and so had the same problem you get relaxed somehow. When you go to a hospital with a headache, it cures immediately when you see people with cancer! The catch is, never ask yourself ‘why me?’ When experiencing a surprise, just think about friends or people who have experienced the same problem – and figure out what they did.

Seek advice

Don’t go it alone. Utilize people you trust for advice. As a rule, keep a list of these people, call or visit them regularly when you are doing well. It is better than the views of more than two advisers are sought.

Exercise and relax – stay healthy.

Fatigue affects personal reasoning, relationships, and judgment. Eat your favorite dish, rest and exercise. When I’m annoyed, I get my Kung fu handbook and do all those Wushu/Martial Arts stances until am too tired to stand. After getting rest, I visit friends and share my escapades. This eases my thought process and life picks as usual until the next misfortune. This is what I call a healthy state. Some people annoy you, purposely to disorientate you. Don’t let them win. Ignore them. Exercise and forgive – let their ego kill them. I am always amazed at how people plead for forgiveness when I chose to ignore them.

Don’t be a coward

Make tough decisions. They don’t get easier by delaying them. End a troubling relationship, leave a dragging job, sell an inconveniencing car (even if it means walking for some time), what matters is easing yourself from troubles sooner. I once used to spend the whole day annoyed after lending my car and receiving it in a sorry state. These days I find it easier to tell people openly that “my personal policy is not to give out my car.’ They remain friends and respect me, even more.

Always look for precedent when faced with difficulty. Has this happened to you, someone you know, or someone you’ve heard or read about? Are there responses already proven to be good, effective and practical for your situation?

Lawyers are bright because they support their views with case laws, precedents and etc…. Never act without looking for precedents because you may use a cost-ineffective option. Try the internet, use Google. You won’t be disappointed. Some of you have confided in me with your personal and official difficulties, keep it up. I am there to advise where I can. I also keep a database/list of people who are specialists in practically anything consultable [from forensic audits to counseling of young couples] – call, I will give you free references.

For more insights visit www.mustaphamugisa.com. Succeed.

Copyright Mustapha B Mugisa, 2013. All rights reserved.

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