You cannot be everywhere and succeed. You must select your top three to four must-win-battles and focus all your energy and resources there. It is not easy to win so many battles.
In 2010, I had a heated debate with my wife over the family priorities. We decided to review our responsibility centers to minimize interruptions but also optimize skills. As an equal partner in our family affairs, we agreed that she is responsible for all the operational and tactical decisions in the home – family menu (what to eat and when), look and feel (the furniture in our home, which clothes to wear, which car to drive) and managing home affairs (hiring and managing family help and the like). I was assigned responsibilities for strategic issues – retirement planning, where to live – rent or build and by when, how to finance our family for assured financial security (to work or to be self-employed or both).
There are also joint decisions like which schools to take our children, which kind of insurance to buy or whether to set up a contingent medical fund and how to contribute to it monthly, managing joint bank account and how to fund it; how to manage family finances and how much to spend on dependents including relatives from either side. Simply put, my wife’s primary roles are to work as a software in our home. Mine is to provide the hardware. I am responsible for taking the lead decision on whether to buy a Dell or Lenovo or Apple computer. She decides on whether to install Microsoft or Linux or both on the computer purchased. This way, our roles are clear cut. When the meals at home are good; she takes the credit. When we fail to live in a comfortable home, I am to blame. You get the idea. When our kids perform badly at school, we both take the blame.
As you can see, to win, we decided to have a clear annual “Must-Win-Battles”. These are top three to four things that each of us must win. She knows that she will lose her head unless she finds the ideal house help or house support officer. This is a battle she must win. There is no room for failure. Until that battle is won, she allocated all her time, energy and focus. It is her responsibility to identify, recruit, induct and undertake on-going monitoring. Even if something is not right, protocol demands that I raise any issues about the house help through her. I find this approach the best.
I want to ask you to identify a few winnable must-win-battles. This will help you narrow your focus, enlist your family members, and start fighting. Remember, once you identify a battle as a must-win it must be won. Failure is not an option.
Each won battle is an accomplishment. Before you know it, success is on your side. Remember, as you identify your battles, do as a team. And pray for guidance for with God, everything is possible. Success.
